Poems · Uncategorized

Again, Again (poem)

I don’t think he knows

Or maybe knows too much

Maybe he feels repulsed

Knowing what I’ve done

Hey man, I don’t mean to

Fall in sight of you

Catching glimpses

Or side nice smile

Think inside its true

He caught me as I fell

Rather fall than stay here

He knows I look him up

To see if he’s sincere

 

I hate myself around him

A stranger living inside me

Pretty face smiles at me

I’ve fallen for the trap

Again, again

 

I think he knows now

How to manipulate me

He knows how to disintegrate me

He knows how to break my spirit

Bruise my ego, kill my soul

Hey man, I don’t mean to

Fall in sight of you

If his eyes are the windows

To his little dark soul

Then I’ve looked at hell

And been back for more

 

I hate myself around him

He knows how to manipulate me

He knows how to call me baby

He knows how to leave me hanging

And I’ll still come back for more

Again, again

 

 

 

Poems · Uncategorized

Blind Leading The Blind

Years pass, we age

You’re sinking deeper

Than yesterday

Nothings better now

Falling to the ground

I once tried, to save the day

Your love turned to hate

Couldn’t hold, on to you

Couldn’t pull you through

I called for help

You overdosed

Your family

Kicked me out the door

In fear that I, ruined your life

I knew you played with that knife

You showed me scars

Never healed

You never thought

My love was real

There was once when I could save you

but I was drowning too

If the blind can lead the blind

Then I could lead you too

If the blind can lead the blind

But I don’t think they do

Years pass, can’t save

All those little mistakes

Leading to

Our mutual hate

Nothing’s better now

We went our separate ways

I still remember

The last day I saw your face

You were drunk

A little crazed

I called for help

Thinking I could save you

While I was drowning

Not much to do for you

If the blind can lead the blind

But I don’t think they do

If the blind can lead the blind

But the blind can’t save you from you

 

 

 

Poems · Uncategorized

Grass Is Greener

I don’t mean to be offensive

But I feel trapped in the city that watched me grow

I want to escape every day

I feel like its holding me back

Don’t want to sound like I’m above it all

Because I’m really not above anyone

 

I’ll fall in love with the city lights

But not tonight not tonight

Born on the wrong side of the tracks

Crime at night, I mean every night

Under the city lights, city lights

 

I don’t mean to come off as a know it all

Especially when I know nothing at all

The mothers cry as the fathers leave

The kids can’t seem to change a thing

And everyone is stuck on a cycle, repeat

 

We are born where we die

Same street, same misery

Same tears that my mother cried

Same job that my dad denied

 

I’ll fall in love with the city lights

But not tonight not tonight

Born on the wrong side of the tracks

Crime at night, I mean every night

Under the city lights, city lights

 

I admit I hate it

I’ll fall in love with the city lights

But not tonight not tonight

Born on the wrong side of the tracks

Crime at night, I mean every night

Under the city lights, city lights

 

I want to run away from this town

I want to go to the place where

Money talks and I’ve made enough to make the rounds

The grass is greener on the other side

Thats where I want to go

To the place where I won’t have to hide

I don’t mean to sound ignorant

I simply hate this place, its misery

Poems · Uncategorized

Favorite Song (poem)

I want to live in this song

Its about a feeling I’ve never felt before

Its a mix of love and forgiveness

Or about a girl this man adores

I’m out of it, So out of it

In a fantasy that I don’t want to leave

I want be be, inside this beauty

I mean I want to be a part of this dream

 

Playing the song on repeat

Just to pretend he is near

To a world I’ve never seen before

Where I don’t have any fears

 

I want to live in this song

A feeling I’ve never felt before

Its a mix of love and forgiveness

Or a girl this man adores

 

I want to be this song

I want to be what its about

I want to be his type of girl

Sing for me out loud

This song won’t leave my mind

I want to be the girl its written for

I want to be who he adores

 

 

 

Poems · Uncategorized

Year 2011 (poem)

Had the strangest feeling of going back to 2011

I was 18 and a sheltered princess

Same year I went to New York for the first and only time

Also the year my world turned to pieces

 

I was naive and young and free

Parts of it still live in my dreams

Haunting me uncontrollably

This is what that year did to me

 

Let me go, Let me go

I don’t want to know, know

Why 2011 still lives, sinks

In my heart and memories

 

Had the strangest feeling of being trapped in 2011

I didn’t know what that year would bring me

So many regrets yet I can’t help to think

Who would I be without my mistakes at eighteen

 

I was naive and young and free

My 18 still living in me

Hurt, experience, wild, fear, peace

That is what that year did to me

 

Let me go, Let me go

I don’t want to know, know

Why 2011 still lives, sinks

In my heart and memories

Let me go, I don’t want to know

2011, still haunting me

In my heart and memories

 

Its a stamp on my head

Its like a sign of regret

With experience in life

I don’t know whats in my head

Why does this year affect me

Afraid that it will forever define me

Or made me stronger somehow

2011

The year of regret

The year of growth

The year that opened up a world

At the same time it put me in hell

2011 nothing like heaven

But it defines me

When I was 18

Poems · Uncategorized

If I Fall In Love (poem)

I don’t want you for the second

Going on for the long run

Don’t want to play games I don’t know the rules to

Can’t be afraid to fall in love

 

I missed you before I ever met you

There was a part of me that was gone

I don’t want to suffocate you if this feels wrong

If you let me in, know you’ll never have to worry

I’ll be home every  night, there in the morning

 

Its my love that I offer like it was always meant for you

Incomplete in this sentence explaining feelings of truth

From my heart or words or anything that makes sense

If I fall in love

If I fall in love

Will you fall with me?

 

I don’t want you for the moment

I want to know i’ll always be yours

Its simple math or simple thoughts

If you say you like me I’ll say it too

 

I missed you before I ever met you

There was a part of me that came back

In my life, I know I am again complete

I can only promise what I have at the moment

I’ll stay true to my feelings if you follow through

 

All I need to know is that I’m not falling alone

That you want me just as much

There are no games in your mind

You won’t play with my heart

Because if I fall

If I fall in love

You’re falling with me

 

If I fall in love

If I fall in love

If I fall, you’re falling with me

 

 

Poems · Uncategorized

Better Days (poem)

Sometimes you’ve gotta look past regret

To search for a better future

Even when it hurts to let go

Knowing you’ll be on your own

For who knows how long

Or how far you’ll go

 

Digging deeper than the surface

Trying something different

Creating better days ahead

 

Better days, better days

 

I hope tomorrow is not the same

I know I’ll live it like my last

Like I just came back from the dead

I want to live, I want to live

Letting go of the past

 

Sometimes letting go is the best thing ever

Its like the weight of the world now floats

You’re soaring through the sky

Not afraid to fly high

Not afraid of when you’re going home

 

Digging deeper than the surface

Trying something different

Creating better days ahead

Better days, better days

 

I know tomorrow I won’t be the same

I know I’ll live it like my last

Like I just came back from the dead

And I want to live, I want to live

Letting go of the past

 

Better days, better ways

To love

Better days, better ways

To dream and hope

Better days, better days

To live like your last